being sick is no joke. i am beginning to see the changes and there are drastic and slow. this is combination i never thought i would experience. so far i am just staying in my corner. lately, all my thoughts have been invaded with the thoughts of going home. i keep thinking of how my nephew is growing up without me and i am in a journey that is quickly transforming into an unknown adventure. this had never bothered me until now and even then i always manage to remind myself and even at times convince myself that this adventure will reveal itself soon. there has been one time in which this was not good enough.
going back is worse than staying here; these are words from an entry back in 2009. however, this is no longer the case. to go back means to go back as a woman. going back means that the debut of my new and independent self. going back means that i will have something else but work to talk about, there will be much more and in time it will all look lesser and lesser as well. so what am i really missing? what is it that is calling me back to where it all started? and what is keeping me here?
it is all like cough syrup since the way it should be will never be reveal; if anything i should just wait for the cough syrup to come down.
